Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Tekken Movie: Why are you here?

A few weeks ago, I saw the trailer for the upcoming Tekken movie.  As you may have already guessed, I wasn't entirely pleased.  Now, I could write down everything I find wrong about this movie in one massive post, but that would probably break the internet.  Instead, I've decided to just talk about one aspect and wait to actually see the film before complai...I mean, critique the movie.  So what's on today's agenda?

Characters!  Namely, who's in, and who's got the shaft.  I know not everybody can be featured, considering there's 40+ characters, so the writers should have put in those most necessary for Jin's, the main character, storyline and those who have been in a lot of the games.  Did they?  Well...

Since I've heard cast listings that conflict each other, I'm just going to go by who I saw in the trailer, as well as those I've seen in costume.
  • JIN KAZAMA-Naturally, he's pretty much the games main character.  Although the actor playing him (Jon Foo) looks a bit white...
  • KAZUYA MISHIMA-Also naturally, and a bit white.  I knew the budget was low, but I thought at the least they could have afforded a razor...
  • HEIHACHI MISHIMA-The movie managed to get three of the four who've been in every game (Heihachi, Nina, Yoshimitsu, and Paul), and that is commendable.  And what's Tekken without it's most recognizable character.
  • BRYAN FURY-An interesting choice.  I guess if a movie wants a psycho, it's hard to beat Bryan.  I see Kaz wasn't the only one in desperate need of a shave.
  • MARSHALL LAW-Not much to say here.  His costume looks fine and the actor (Cung Lee) looks good.  Hopefully he'll get to do something.
  • YOSHIMITSU-Heck Yeah!  It's hard to get more Tekken (and cooler) than him.  Now, everyone's favorite cyborg-ninja hardly has an iconic look, but the gold armor looks a little...different.  Personally, I would have went with his Tekken 2 outfit.
  • RAVEN-Raven's cool and all, but he's not really what I'd call a staple to the Tekken games.  In the games he doesn't even come in until Heihachi "dies", and I don't think the movie's gonna pull that one on us.  And costume designer's, there was a reason his white outfit only showed up once.
  • EDDY GORDO-Although is revenge plot was nice in the games, I doubt it will turn up in the movie, so he'll probably be in one fight at the most.  However, he uses capoeira, which will definitely make for an cool fight.
  • NINA WILLIAMS-Of course they'd put in Ms. Tekken herself.  On her costume: Way to put in shameless fanservice.
  • SERGEI DRAGUNOV-...Why, just, why?  His only real character interaction in the game is with Raven, who also doesn't need to be in the movie, and has only been in two games (T5: DR, T6).  Isn't there anyone else who you could have added instead? *cough*Paul Phoenix *cough*
  • ANNA WILLIAMS-If Nina's in it, you're pretty much required to have her sister/rival/sworn enemy, unless you're Tekken 4 *accusing stare*.  Five bucks says there's gonna be a catfight.
  • SOME CHICK I DON'T KNOW-That's a whole 'nother post in itself.  Excuse me for a moment, I'm going to contain my fury and maybe find some happy pills...
  • STEVE FOX-I guess it's true what they say, the camera does add twenty years.  All kidding aside, I'm not thinking Steve's character will get an accurate game adaption into film, and won't have a point if he does.  Side note: Steve, you know I love you and I know you're a boxer and all, but you gotta learn how to kick...
 And finally the reason for this post, the one character who should not be here
  • CHRISTIE MONTEIRO-I don't have a problem with her in the games, really I don't, it's just she is COMPLETELY POINTLESS in a film adaptation.  Her storyline completely revolves around Eddie, who like I said before, will probably only be in one fight so what does she have to do?  Tekken prides itself in having a huge variety of characters who utilize a wide range of martial arts, so they chose to include two characters who have THE EXACT SAME MOVEMENT.  Also, I'm pretty sure I saw her making out with Jin *facepalm*  They have no idea of Jin's character, do they?  I'm not even sure those two have canononically met.  I am aware of Moviemaker's disorder of having to shoehorn a romance into every movie, so if they really needed to, why not have used Xiaoyu?  She has her own moveset, has been in plenty of the games, and actually has some romantic interest in Jin.  But alas, they have chosen Ms. Fanservice over her...
If you'd like to see the trailer yourself, here's the link
Well, I've said my piece (for now).  This Sunday, I'll be talking about my idea for a movie adaption.  Until then...

Kami Kamiya

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